Your jokes

What do you call a boy with custard in one ear and jelly in the other?
A trifle deaf!

What do you give a sick pig?
Oinkment!


Were you long in the hospital?
No, I was the same size that I am now!


What do you give a horse with a cold?
Cough stirrup!


How many ears did Davy Crockett have?
Three - his left ear, his right ear, and his wild front ear.

Doctor, Doctor you have to help me out!
Certainly, which way did you come in?


Doctor, Doctor can I have a second opinion?
Of course, come back tomorrow!


Doctor, doctor, I can’t get to sleep.
Lie on the edge of the bed and you’ll soon drop off!


Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking there’s two of me.
One at a time please!

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a king.
What’s your name?
Joe.
You must be Joe King!

Doctor Doctor, I think I’m a spoon.”
“Sit over there, please, and don’t stir!”


Doctor, Doctor! I'm going to die in 51 seconds!"
"I will be with you in a minute!"


Doctor Doctor I feel like a bee!"
"Buzz off!"


Doctor Doctor! I’ve hurt my arm in several places!
“Well, don’t go to those places”


Doctor Doctor, I think I’m invisible.
Who said that?


Doctor Doctor! I have a strawberry growing out of my head!
“I’ll give you some cream to put on it”


Doctor Doctor! I think I'm a goat!"
"How long have you felt like this?"
"Since I was a kid!"